


i know myself

by zsunsetz



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blood, M/M, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23784151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsunsetz/pseuds/zsunsetz
Summary: Dan huffed. "Look, Lester, I know what you're doing. You're taking pity on me and you're trying to help. It's nice. I get it. But I know myself, and I don't need your advice."
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Phil Lester & PJ Liguori
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	i know myself

**Author's Note:**

> i just needed some cliche fluff to write to kill the time. i apologise for the mess you're about to read.
> 
> also the only slur is in the first sentence. i don't really know whether it really counts but i tagged it anyway just in case it's triggering for anyone.
> 
> slightly inspired by cavetown's song, advice. give it a listen if you haven't already!
> 
> enjoy!

"Hey, ponce!"

Blurry faces surrounded the boy before Phil even had time to think. A small, pale face peeked out behind their muscular thighs, his curly hair stained with blood and sweat. An orange football boot shoved it down, covering his face in even more dirt and blood. The biggest one slammed a bright red lunch tray hit him even harder.

"See you after school." the scrawny one sniggered, before they stalked away.

It made Phil sick. Sick at them for doing that to him, sick at himself for watching them do that and not doing anything, sick at the world for allowing people to do that to other people.

"Hey." Phil said, before he could stop himself. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." the boy huffed, brushing the sandwich crumbs off his pants and the blood off his face.

"Are you new? Haven't seen you around." Phil said.

The boy picked up his tray and bottle.

"And you won't anymore." he said, and walked away before Phil could say anything else.

Phil stole a glance at the label on his drink bottle. Dan Howell.

It was at that moment when Phil decided he had found himself a new friend.

* * *

He saw Dan Howell again in the same spot outside the library with his lunch all over the floor.

"Did they shove you to the floor again?" Phil asked.

"No." Dan said. "I dropped my tray."

Phil nodded, even though he knew Dan was lying. "Okay."

Phil helped him clean it all up, and grabbed his drink bottle.

"How did you get all that blood on your face? From walking into a pole?" Phil said, as he handed the bottle to Dan.

Dan grabbed it quickly. "Yeah. Something like that."

Phil watched as Dan walked away, empty tray and bottle in hand.

"Hey, Howell!" Phil called out. "Got anyone to sit with?"

Dan didn't turn back.

* * *

Phil waited for a week before he talked to Dan again.

Phil smiled as he slammed his pile of books next to Dan. "Fancy seeing you here again."

Dan rolled his eyes and turned to look at Phil. "You again."

"I have a name, you know." Phil said, sticking out his hand. "Phil Lester."

Dan glanced at the hand before turning to his studying. Phil sighed and put his hand down.

"What are you studying?" Phil asked.

Dan huffed. "English. Look, Lester, I know what you're doing. You're taking pity on me and you're trying to help. It's nice. I get it. But I know myself, and I don't need your advice."

Phil nodded. "Alright."

Phil watched as Dan turned to study.

"Go away, Lester." Dan said, not turning.

"I actually need to study, though." Phil said, gesturing to his pile of textbooks.

Dan looked at him.

"What?" Phil said, grabbing his nearest textbook. "I also really need to study English."

Dan raised his eyebrow. "That's an Japanese textbook."

"Thank you for telling me." Phil said solemnly. "I have a lot of catching up to do."

* * *

"Got any new friends, Phil?"

Phil sighed. "I guess so. I don't think he really wants to be my friend, though."

"It's good you're trying." Mum said. "I know how sad you were after PJ and Martyn left. What's his name?"

"Dan. Dan Howell." Phil replied.

"That's a nice name." Mum beamed.

Phil shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

Mum collapsed on the chair. "I give up on cooking. What pizza are we ordering this time?"

* * *

"Why do you wanna be my friend so bad?" Dan suddenly asked.

Phil bit his pencil. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Before you found out I cam here, you didn't step a foot in the library. Then, for two weeks in a row, you sit right here, right next to me, and you try to feed me food."

Phil shrugged. "I'm just trying to study here. Mint?"

Dan huffed. "Drop the act, Lester. What do you want from me?"

"Nothing!" Phil protested.

"I've been to three high schools. I know human teenagers don't try to get close to someone unless they have something to gain from it." Dan spat. "What do you want?"

Phil sighed. "I see those jerks bully you every day and it bugs me. What I want is for no one to go through that. No one deserves to be treated like a piece of meat, Howell. Even you."

"Lay off of me." Dan seethed. "You are not my mum."

"I don't need to be your mum to care about other people's wellbeing, Howell." Phil said.

"You're not my friend, either, Lester." Dan said, picking his textbook up. "So go the hell away."

"How about have a question from me, Howell? Why do you wanna not be my friend so bad? Am I doing something wrong? Or do you just not like me?"

Dan slammed the book on the desk. "You don't know shit about me. Shut the hell up and leave before I make you."

"Okay." Phil said. "See you around."

"No, you won't." Dan said.

Phil sighed and nodded, grabbing his books and heading home to his mum's terrible cooking.

* * *

"Good news, Phil." PJ said, over FaceTime. "I'm heading home for a bit."

"Really?" Phil said, grinning.

"Yeah." PJ smiled. "I can only chill on Sunday night, though. I already promised my parents for Saturday lunch and dinner. You know how they are."

"It's fine. There's the pop-up fair this weekend. Let's go to that." Phil suggested.

"Cool. Maybe I can meet your friend Dan?" PJ said.

Phil's smile immediately dropped. "No, he's busy."

PJ, sensing Phil's discomfort, nodded and changed topic immediately, and they talked for half an hour about narwhals before PJ had to hang up and Phil felt empty again.

* * *

"PJ!" Phil exclaimed.

PJ wrapped Phil in a tight hug. "Long time no see, Philly."

"So, how's university for you, Peej?" Phil asked, smirking. "Or should I say Doctor Peej?"

PJ rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up. Haven't got my degree yet."

"Yet." Phil emphasized. "After you get it, I'm so calling you Doctor Peej."

The fair wasn't the classic American fair from high school teen movies, but it was good enough for England. As PJ said, England manages to make everything slightly drab, but their effort is cute.

"How are you so shit at literally the easiest game here?" PJ asked, shouting to be hard over the roar of the crowd.

"Shh, I'm trying my best." Phil shouted out, as he hit the exact middle between the two clowns which bounced off and hit him in the nose. "Ow!"

PJ sniggered. "This game's a bit too dangerous for you, Phil. Come on, let's go do something else."

Phil chuckled as stepped out of queue to let the 6-year-old behind him take the gun. PJ looked to the side and shook his head.

"And it wouldn't be a fair without the nerd being bullied by the jocks." PJ said, clicking his tongue.

Phil turned to see where PJ was looking at and froze. "That's Dan."

PJ's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Definitely." Phil replied.

"Are you sure?" PJ asked.

Phil nodded. "I'm certain."

After the tallest one took his last punch, the biggest one held him up by the neck and strangled him against the wall.

"Jesus Christ." PJ said.

"Come on, we have to help him." Phil said, running over to the site of the broken ferris wheel.

"Let him go, assholes." PJ yelled.

"Oh look, your boyfriends are here." the biggest one mocked.

"Oh, get a life, Smithson. Do you really have nothing better to do on a Sunday night?" Phil said, helping Dan up. "Bit sad, really. You'd almost think you guys are his boyfriends, with you wasting your nights over an obsession with a boy. Come on, Dan."

Phil lent a hand to help Dan up, but was pushed to the ground before Dan could get up. He brought his hand to his face, and realised that his nose was bleeding all over his shirt and denim jacket. He stumbled backwards, surprised, into the path of a police officer.

"Excuse me?" the officer said. "What do you think-"

She looked at the blood on his face, then at Smithson and the rest, who was already laughing and sprinting into the distance. She glanced at Dan and Phil, both covered in blood and bleeding all over the floor.

"Sorry, boys." she said, before she continued patrolling the area.

PJ sighed as he helped Dan and Phil up. "Are you two okay?"

"I'm okay, just bleeding a lot." Phil said, wiping the blood from his mouth. "Dan?"

Dan sighed as he felt around his neck. "I thought I told you to stop talking to me."

Phil looked down. "Sorry."

Dan shook his head. "I'm not mad."

"You're not."

"No." He gave a small smile to Phil. "Thanks for helping me. Sorry for being such an asshole."

"It's okay." Phil said. "How about we spend the rest of the time here going on every ride and seeing which one makes us the sickest."

Dan grinned. "Sounds like a deal."

PJ smirked as he watched Dan flush as he held Phil's hand for a second longer than he should have.

"Maybe they were right about the boyfriend thing." PJ said aside to Phil.

Phil went red. "What?"

"I'm just saying." PJ said.

He had a feeling he was going to be hearing a lot more of this Dan Howell.

**Author's Note:**

> [reblog on tumblr!](https://under-the-blue-sun.tumblr.com/post/616082207627493376/i-know-myself)


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